darlene michaud plus size clothing
Darlene's Weight Loss Blog!
This blog is to give me a place to reach out to my customers and to to hold me accountable for my new journey to weight loss and better health.  I will be posting my weight weekly and will upload photos along the way.  Grab a cup of coffee and enjoy!  If you want to email me about my blog please use this email address:  blog@darlenemichaud.com
darlene michaud plus size clothing
Weekly Weight
My goal is to lose 100 pounds
10 pounds at a time!

Home Page--------Tunic Fabric--------Buy It Now--------eBay Auctions--------Link City-------My Blog
When I started.
8/31/08   299.5 lbs
See all photos HERE!
Food Plan----Recipes
Previous Walking Charts
My Doggies----My Son's Site

Weight Loss Photos

I weigh in every Wednesday!
See all previous weeks-HERE
Official TOPS weight!

- / +

Starting Up Again!

WK 120
WK 121
WK 122
WK 123
no weigh in
due to
WK 124
WK 125
WK 126
no weigh in
due to
WK 127
WK 128
WK 129
WK 130
WK 131
WK 132
WK 133
WK 134
WK 135
WK 136
WK 137
WK 138
WK 139
WK 140
no weigh in
I was on
WK 141
no weigh in
due to
flu boo hoo
After 40 pounds lost!
11/25/09   258.75 lbs
See all photos HERE!

How to Make Easy Play Clay How to Make Quick Easy Modeling Dough How to Prepare Natural Clay for Pottery
How to Make Decoupage Glue How to Make Collage Glue How to Make Leather Glue
How to Make Waterproof Glass Glue How to Make Envelope Mucilage How to Make Stamp Glue
How to Make Paperhanger Paste How to Make Wallpaper Paste How to Make Resin Paper Mache Paste
How to Make Liquid Rice Paste How to Make Instant Rice Paste How to Make Japanese Rice Paste

May 21, Saturday Night:
What a week I had!  I got back from my vacation late Monday night and got sick one hour after walking in the door.  The flu.  Lovely.  I was really sick for a couple days then took another couple to rest up.  I'm just now coming around to where I can sew again.  So, my one week off turned into two weeks off.  I miss working!  But seeing my son and granddaughter was just awesome. Skylar is getting so big and talks using words I can understand now! I love and miss her so much all ready. I hope to see her again very soon.

May 9, Monday Evening:
I am busy getting ready to head out tomorrow for Mississippi! I'm visiting my son and his family. I can't wait to see my red headed little granddaughter and her big brother!  It's going to be a week long vacation filled with hugs and kisses!  I am returning May 16 and will be returning emails at that time. I will have my laptop with me, but I'm going to try hard to not work... much :O)

April 30, Saturday Night:
I squeezed out a tiny loss on Wednesday.  For some reason, I just feel myself coming to a halt.  I don't know if it's because I'm going on vacation or what.  Seems like every time I plan something, I stop losing weight and start gaining!  I'm not going to worry about it.  I just want to get ready for my trip on May 10!

April 22, Friday Night:
Man alive, I'm having a hard time to lose weight!  I thought I had a good week but I was up almost 2 pounds. All I can do is keep trying!  I'm doing my best and I have no plans for any Easter food.  No food, no candy.  Not in this house!  That would be a disaster. I hope to have a loss on Wed.  Oh, here's some exciting news!  I'm going to see my son and granddaughter on May 10!  I can't wait.  I will be there for a week.  Yippee!

April 16, Saturday Afternoon:
Hello everyone!  I forgot to post my weight on Wed.  I lost another 3/4 of a pound.  Not much, but I'll take it.  I like the way I'm eating and I've only had two gains since before Christmas.  I can't complain!  It has been about a year and a half since I took my last 10 pound loss photo.  I'll be very anxious to take the next pic.  I'm finally at the point I was back in Nov of 09.  What a long haul this is.  I guess I should just sit back and enjoy the ride.

April 8, Friday Afternoon:
I pulled off yet another tiny loss this week. We had a fun meeting on Wed. It was our special meeting to install the new officers then we went out for Chinese food after. I really don't agree with going out to eat with a weight loss support group, but whatever. I went.  I shared in two scorpion bowls and had a couple beers and had fun, then got sick. Oh well! So much for the party girl. I spent Thursday recovering. Now today, I hope to get back to business!

April 3, Sunday Afternoon:
I had a teeny tiny loss last week, and I'm happy it's a loss! I really would love to lose bigger numbers, but I'll take any loss that comes my way. Most of you will notice that I have not been listing auctions. That's because I'm still not quite set up with everything I need to do that. First I set up my new laptop, but I hate laptops. Now I'm in the process of setting up my old computer again. I have it running, but it was wiped clean.

This coming Wednesday, our TOPS chapter is going out to celebrate the installation of new officers. I stepped down as secretary. I did it for a full year but I also run our TOPS store so I want to concentrate more on that task. I hope I have a good loss to report on Wed. Please come back to check in on me!

March 23, Wednesday Night:
Argh!!!! Not because of my gain, but because of my never ending computer problems. I have been NOT working (not much) for over a month now. Just when I need money to pay dental bills and to visit my son, not much money coming in. It's hard to earn a living online if you don't have a set up you like!

I knew a laptop would not quite cut it. I'm used to a big, old fashioned monitor. I like a real keyboard. I can't stand a touch pad. Even though I bought everything I needed to make life comfortable, I just don't like looking at a laptop. So, with the help of some nice people at www.bleepingcomputer.com, I was at least able to get my old comptuer back up and running. But, now everything is set back to the factory settings so I have to start ALL OVER again with setting things up.

Looks like I won't be working for a few more weeks!  Oh, I mean I won't be earning money for a few more weeks.  I'll be working plenty... argh!!!

March 17, Thursday Afternoon:
I am checking in quickly to report my weight... one more pound down. I'm happy about that. I'm not happy that I'm nealy a month into my computer crash and I still don't know what I'm doing. I don't think I'll be listing auctions for a bit because the task of uploading the pics and sending out my emails is just too much. I don't know how anything works yet. I guess it could be worse... I could have my computer crash AND be gaining!

March 10, Thursday Afternoon:
I don't think I'm ever going to recover from my computer crash over two weeks ago. I have been trying to learn my new laptop and new programs and I'm not loving any of it. Right now, as I type, my text is teeny tiny. If I enlarge it, all the tables I have set up go crazy on me. Argh!!!

Okay, the real reason I'm here is to report my weight. I lost the pound that I gained last week. I was happy with that. I hope to lose two pounds next week. Actually, my mini goal was to lost the 25.75 pounds I had regained last year. The lowest weight I saw in 2009 was 254, then in 2010 I started gaining. So, I want to hit 254 again and hoped to do that by the last weigh in for March. That gives me three weeks to lose 5.25 pounds. I think I can do that! Keep watching to see if I do :O)

March 6, Sunday Night:
Well, I'm slowly getting somewhere. I think.  I do not like having to learn this new publishing program. I guess I'll learn to like it in time... I hope! For now I'm just happy to have a way to publish. I need to take the big jump and attempt lising an auction. I think I have the software set up for my camera, and now I can publish. So... I will give it a shot this week.

And I had a gain. But, I'm okay with it. I have not had a gain since before Christmas. It was a very good run. Now, I just hope I can have another losing streak! Now I'm going to try to publish this. I've got my fingers crossed! If you are reading this, then I was successful :O) 

March 2, Wednesday Morning:
OMG... what a week I had last week! My computer crashed on Monday, Feb 22. It has been a near nightmare. I say near, because there certainly are more important things than a computer crashing. Just the same, when you have online businesses, a computer crash pretty much puts a halt to all money coming in!

Today I am trying a different WISIWYG HTML editor. I have been using Netscape Composer for years, but now I can't even download that to my new laptop because it's not compatible for 64 bit... whatever that means. So, I'm trying Kompozer and I'm thrilled to see it pulled up this web page. Now, if I can only figure out how to publish it. I don't know very much about computers so every new thing I have to learn can take FOREVER!!!   Will try to publish. To be continued...

February 16, Wednesday Night:

We had such a wonderful meeting tonight. We celebrated one of our member's 15th anniversay of keeping her weight off. That's quite an accomplishment! If... I mean WHEN I lose all my weight, I'll be happy if I keep it off for one year, let alone 15!

I'm beat. It was a busy night at TOPS and also a busy day. I wish I could look forward to a night of restful sleep, but that's not in the cards for me... ever! One word. Insomnia. I hate it.

Oh, back to the reason I'm here... to report my weight loss for the week. I can in with a 3/4 pound loss. I'll take it. I know I'm going to start to level off. I'm going to stick to my plan for 3 more weeks, then I think I'll change it up just for the fun of it. I might switch to frozen dinners for a bit just to make it super easy. But, that's 3 weeks away. I can time to think about it.

February 9, Wednesday Night:

What a great meeting we had tonight at TOPS. We had a rededication ceremony to help put everyone back into the losing weigh spirit. I have been back in action since just before Christmas. I hope my new mood lasts a very long time!

I lost 3 pounds, but that was in two weeks. We missed weigh in last week due to snow. I was very happy with 3 pounds. I am happy for any loss. Any loss! What excites me the most is that I'm getting very close to where I was at the end of 2009. Remember, 2010 was a year of gaining for me. I gained back 25 of the pounds that I lost in 2009. But those pounds are coming off quickly and I expect a complete recovery soon! I've lost 17 pounds in just 7 weeks. That has to be some kind of person best for me!

I am entering week 8 of my new eating plan. Only trouble is that I didn't get around to doing my groceries. But, my list is made and I'll do that tomorrow. I'm having soup and salad an normal, and I've opted for another pasta/veggie/lean meat type of stir fry. Then another meal will be a small potato, carrots, wax beans, broccoli, cauliflower, and a fat free hot dog. Lots of veggies, that's the way to go! For dessert I have a parfait with sf jello, yogurt, mixed fruit and berries, and whipped cream. Yum!

I hope to be able to report at least a 1 pound loss next Wed. Please come back to see how I do!

February 2, Wednesday Night:

Our TOPS meeting was cancelled tonight due to lovely snow. So, no weigh in. I think I might have lost a pound. But, my scale fluctuates and it never matches the TOPS scale, so I only record my official TOPS weight. I'm anxious for next Wednesday!

I'm still doing my food plan, but it is losing its punch. I find that I don't even much like counting calories once a week. But, if I stop, I'll just go back to gaining. I've promised myself to eat planned meals for 12 weeks. I've done 6 weeks and just need to do 6 more. Then I'll rethink my plan. If I'm still losing, I may very well continue what I'm doing. But if I'm sick of it, I'll tweek my plan to make it exciting again. All I know is I will always need some kind of plan.  Period.

January 26, Wednesday Night:

Wow! I lost another 2 pounds this week.  I'm sooooo happy to see that my new food plan is working. This week I was almost sick of veggies. But, I know I must keep eating them. They are filling and they are keeping me on the straight and narrow. Tomorrow I start my new menu for a week. I'm having soup, salad, a bacon and egg sandwich with veggies, tuna with green beans and cauliflower, yogurt with jello and strawberries, and popcorn.  I hope I can lose another pound or two next week. Our TOPS chapter is just the best! We are all highly motivated.  It's a very, very good group!

January 23, Sunday Night:

A very strange thing is happening to me. I'm finding myself extremely full eating all the veggies I'm eating! Today I could not even eat all my food. And I'm not craving other foods either. I'm not even craving the dessert treat that I have on my plan. This week my dessert is a parfait made with sugar free jello, sugar free pudding, light whipped cream, blue berries and raspberries. It's something I normally can't wait to eat. Tonight I had to force myself to eat it!  Eating with no appetite is just not fun. Now I know how my husband feels. He could go days without eating! Well, I need to get some work done.

January 19, Wednesday Late Night:

Hello all!  It's just after 2:00am, and I just finsihed my menu for the next week.  I have everything weighed and measured and packed and ready to go. It's a lot of work, but I can handle doing it once a week. Then I don't have to think about what I'm going to eat! I had a 3 pound loss, but that was for two weeks (we had a snow day last week).  I would have loved to lose more, but I'm glad I lost at least that.  That makes 12 pounds in 4 weeks... yippee!

I am anxiously awaiting my new shipment of tapestries for my tunics. I have customers who have been asking for these tunics for months now. I don't think I've offered any on eBay since early 2010. How time flies!

January 16, Sunday Night:

Not much to report tonight. I'm holding steady with my eating plan.  I actually feel like I'm eating too much this week. I opted for less bread and more veggies. The calories are still 900 per day for my planned meal (then I have 300 to 600 that is not planned), but for some reason, all the veggies feels like too much!  I actually took the time to take photos of my meals. I was so proud of how professional my plates looked.  But when I went to upload my pics, they didn't exist on my camera.  My card was full.  I swear my camera used to tell me that.  Now it just let me take pics all for nothing!

Tuesday I'll be sitting in a dentist chair for about 6 hours.  I'm having cosmetic work done on my teeth.  I have always wanted nice teeth.  A couple years ago I had braces put on and wore those for 2.5 years. Now I'm getting crowns.  But I'm doing it a little at a time because it's sooooo expensive.  So far I had 6 done on the top.  Then I had some bondings on some back teeth. I've been walking around for a couple months with some white teeth and some very yellow teeth. Tuesday I'll have 6 temporary crowns on the bottom.  Then after a month, I'll get the permanent crowns. Then I still need bondings on 4 teeth.  What a long (and very expensive) haul this is!!!  And the sad thing is, I don't really like my crowns on my top teeth. I guess I'm just not used to the longer teeth and the new bite.  But, they are certainly better than before!  I'll show some before and after pics when I'm finally done.  I should be done by spring... I hope!

January 12, Wednesday Night:

We had SNOW so no TOPS meeting tonight.  Even though I'm quite sure I lost a pound or maybe a pound and a half, I'm not posting my weight because it's not my official TOPS weight. I hope I have another good week and if I can lose 2 pounds next week then that will make a pound each week.  I would love to lose more, and I'm hoping I do. But, I also want to be realistic and not aim too high.  I just finished getting all my food ready for the next 7 days and it's going to be a good week for my taste buds. I'm repeating the chicken burger that I had two weeks ago and I'm also having a taco, lots of veggies, fruits and berries, just lots of good stuff.  I eat the same thing every day for a week.  It makes grocery shopping a breeze! And so far, I have not gotten sick of doing this. In fact, I almost wanted to repeat last week's menu for another week because I loved it so much. But, it's best if I switch it up a bit. I'm keeping track of each menu so I can repeat them down the road. Now, I'm off to eBay! I have a new auction to list.

January 9, Sunday Morning:

Here I sit, up before noon! That's early for me. The sun is shining and I have a full day of work ahead of me. I have articles to write and I have dogs to bathe. I also have some sewing to do and an auction to list. I took all of December off from sewing for my auctions and only sewed for fun instead. But today I will get back to sewing for business!

I new eating plan is working well. And when I say it's working well, I don't necessarily mean it's making me lose weight. What's more important to me is that I get my eating under control. I love getting through an entire day... and night... without any worries about food. I just eat what I have prepared and I don't think about it!  So far, so good!

January 5, Wednesday Night:

I was one happy girl at TOPS tonight!  My goal was to lose 2 pounds, but I was secretly hoping for 3 pounds.  I ended up losing 3.75 pounds!  That's 9 pounds in two weeks.  And it's all because of my new food plan.  Recap... I plan one day of 900 calories then I eat the same thing each day for 7 days.  I also allow myself 300 to 600 calories per day of whatever I want.  That allows me to have my air popped popcorn at night if I want.  Or I can have something sweet.  My total intake for the day is 1200 to 1500 calories.

And no, I don't exercise.  Not yet.  That will come later.  For now, I want to just concentrate on my new food plan and see how that goes.  I do try to move around more.  I just don't like to call it exercise.

With all that said, it took me about 3 hours to weigh and measure all my food for the next 7 days.  But now I'm done for a week!  It's really my kind of plan.  I only have to count calories once and get my food ready once and then I eat for a week.  My week runs from Thursday to Wednesday.  Usually on Sunday I start to plan my next week of food.  I shop once.  My grocery bill has gone way down.  I love it!

January 2, Sunday Night:

Happy new year!  My son turned 33 today.  I can't believe how fast time flies.  Seems like just yesterday I was 33.  He was playing in Mississippi for New Year's Eve then he's off for a little bit and will be spending time with his daughter Skylar... my besest ever granddaughter.

My food plan is working, I think.  The scale has not done much, but I certainly don't expect to lose big like I did last week.  I like this plan.  Eating the same thing each day for a week works for me.  I already started getting next week's menu ready.  I'll be having fish next week.  And lots of veggies.  And soup.  I always have soup.

I'll report my weight on Wednesday night after my TOPS weigh in.  I'm keeping my fingers crossed that the scales shows a smaller number.  I'll take any loss at all.  Any!

December 29, Wednesday Night:

Woo hoo!  My new eating plan worked like a charm.  I lost 5.25 pounds in my first week of being back on track.  I could not be any happier.  Tonight I got all my food ready for the next 7 days.  I changed my menu, but each day will be the same.  This time around I'm having soup (I always have soup), a bit of pasta with lots of veggies, grilled chicken, a ham sandwich, yogurt, peaches, strawberries... and a few other things.  The total is 903 calories. Then I can have popcorn and a sweet snack if I want.  I aim for 1200 to 1500 calories per day.  I don't expect to lose big next week.  But I sure do hope I lose something... anything!

December 27, Monday Afternoon:

I think the best Christmas gift I could have given myself was my new food plan and my renewed interest in this blog.  Today is my 5th full day on my new eating plan (see December 23 entry below) and I LOVE IT!  It's so easy to stick to a plan when the food is right there, ready and waiting.  The first couple of days I was indeed very hungry.  But it was more of a craving hunger, not true hunger.  By the third day, I already found myself feeling full and better than full... completely satisfied!!!  Last night I even considered skipping some of the food because I was just not in the mood to eat, but I didn't.  I ate until all my food for the day was gone.  And it looks like I'm losing weight.  I'm very anxious to get weighed on Wednesday.  I will be happy with any weight loss.  But, if I lose 3 pounds or more, I'll be ecstatic!  I'll report back on Wednesday with my official weigh in results.  Please come back to see how I do!

December 23, Thursday Afternoon:

I'm back! I have decided to bring my weight loss blog back to life.  Why?  Because I suddenly found new interest in taking control of my life.  As you can see, I've been gaining all year.  That has got to stop!  NOW!

I just started a new eating plan. I'm all about making eating EASY so it takes no time at all to figure out what to eat.  Counting calories usually works for me, but I hate, hate, hate to count calories.  Until now...

What I did is figure out one day of eating.  Then I bought enough of that food to eat the same thing every single day for a week.  Yes.  Might sound boring to you, but I love NOT having variety.  To me, the less varitety I eat, the less tempted I am to stray.  Also, I only have to count calories ONCE for the week! So, easy!

Here is my menu for my first week:

1/2 cup whole milk in my coffee (I drink one very large coffee)

2 slices whole grain bread
1 egg (I make an egg sandwich)
1 can of green beans

1 can of tuna
1 cup broccoli
1 cup cauliflower
(I just mix it all up and heat it)

1 can broth
1 small can mushrooms
1/4 block ramen noodles
1/4 cup mixed veggies
1/8 cup chopped onions
(I make a soup)

1 yogurt
1/3 cup pineapple
1/4 cup fruit cocktail

What I did is measure out everything for 7 days.  I freeze everything in separate bags. Then I take out what I need for the day and put it all in a container in the refrigerator. Then when I'm hungry, I pull out my food and I eat.

This plan comes out to 900 calories. That leaves me a bit of room for a snack of my choice at night.  My snack can be whatever I want, but I'd like to keep it to around 300 calories to make 1200 calories for the day.  I will let myself go up to 1500 calories if needed.

So, I hope you follow me on my journey... again!


August 25, Wednesday Night:  It has been almost 2 years since I started this weight loss blog, and I'm now going in the wrong direction.  So, I think I'll stop blogging.  My heart is just not in it.  I've been trying to lose weight all my adult life and the more I try, the more I feel like a failure.  So, I'm just going to accept that this is the body I'm stuck with and move on.  I'm sick of keeping track of what I eat, how much I eat, when I eat, what not to eat... I've been doing this since I'm 12 years old.  I'll be 50 on August 31st and my gift to myself is permission to just relax and enjoy things like my son and granddaughter.  If I happen to lose weight, well, I'll come back and tell you all about it.  Don't hold your breath.

August 18, Wednesday Night:  This is a very good Wednesday, not only because I lost 2 pounds, but because my son and granddaughter are here!!!  And I'm really too beat to write more.  I have only had a total of about 6 hours sleep in the past two nights.  So I'll write more when I can think straight.  But my beautiful granddaughter is the love of my life!!!  And my son is such a wonderful father.  I could not ask for more.

August 11, Wednesday Night:  I had yet another gain.  I'm very tempted to go off my cholesterol meds.  Ever since I started taking it, I've been gaining.  When my doctor doubled the dose, I started gaining faster.  The doctor insists it's not the medication, but I swear I'm all puff up because of it.  I'm sluggish and miserable.  The two weeks I took myself off, I lost.  Oh well.  I'll figure it all out.  Right now I'm looking forward to my son and my granddaughter coming for a visit.  They arrive Monday and will be here for 10 DAYS!!!  I can't wait!  I'll be sure to post some pics so please check back!

August 4, Wednesday Night:  I can't believe it's August.  It's August and it's hot and I'm miserable.  I don't sleep.  I hurt all over.  My chest flutters are so constant that it's about to drive me insane.  There's no way I can lose weight while feeling like this.  At least I can look forward to my son and granddaughter visiting in two weeks.  I just hope I can feel somewhat human when they are here.

July 28, Wednesday Night:  I had a little gain tonight, but that's okay because I weighed in wearing my street clothing instead of the leggings and light shirt I usually wear.  I'm going to just weigh in my jeans from now on.  Other than that, my biggest problem right now is horribly itchy eyes.  Really, really bad.  I've gone through all kinds of drops and different soap and all that jazz.  I wash my hands and face constantly.  I do the cold compresses but that only seems to make it worse.  Today I'm trying another kind of drop and so far, that one has brought me a bit of relief.  I'm quite sure it's allergies.  It's always something.

July 21, Wednesday Night:  Well, not a good night at the scale.  I started taking my cholesterol meds again and I gained.  I will go off them again for a week to see what happens.  At least we had a fun night at TOPS.  We had our annual pool party.  And it always seems to rain on that night.  It rained like crazy and we also had lots of thunder and lightning.  I love that!!!  There were a couple tornados reported too.  I didn't get to see that.  Not sure I want to see that.  Oh well, I just hope I can have a good week.

July 14, Wednesday Night:  I didn't lose this week but I also didn't gain. So, to me, that's a good thing.  Not much else going on.  My allergies are bad.  I can't sleep.  My chest flutters are still almost constant.  I hurt in my knees, hips and entire upper body.  Yep, things are all the same as usual!

July 7, Wednesday Night:  Is it really July?  Really?  Yes, it is.  And I started the second half of the year with a much needed weight loss.  A small loss, but I'll take it!  Now, the only thing I did differently was stop taking my pravastatin for my cholesterol.  When I started back on the pravastatin at the begginning of the year, my weight loss started to really suffer.  Then a couple months ago my doctor doubled my dose and I gained nine out of ten weeks.  So after last week's gain, I stopped the meds and I had a loss.  I'm staying off it for another week to see what happens.  Not too much else going on.  It's hotter than hell in Maine right now.  It was even worse the past couple of days.  We got close to 100 degrees.  I don't like the heat.  Not unless I have a pool, and I don't.  We had a pool for 20 years and man, did I ever love it.  One day I'll have one again.

June 30, Wednesday Night:  I don't even want to talk about it.  Not about my weight. What I will talk about is how my son is playing (in a band) in South Padre Island for a month.  He's there now during Hurricane Alex.  I asked him today if they were leaving the island, and nope!  They are playing at the resort for all the foolish people who stayed behind.  I told him I was watching on The Weather Channel and how they were set up at South Padre.  Do you see the weather people, I asked?  Yes!  They are staying in the same hotel (they had to move twice due to floods) and he partied with them last night.  Lovely.  I told him I did NOT want to see him jumping in the waves behind the weather man.  A couple hours later, I see him on TV jumping in the waves... with the entire band.  Derrick is 32.  And I still worry about him!  Now he's safe on stage, I hope.  If they lose power, I'm sure he'll venture back outside.  I may get to see him on TV yet again. You can see him here, the big dude on the left.

June 23, Wednesday Night:  I set a new record.  I gained five weeks in a row!  I have never done that while attending TOPS.  At least is was only a quarter of a pound.  But as I sit here writing this, I'm not surprised that I'm gaining because just sitting up and typing is a struggle.  It's to the point that my chest flutters are sooooooo bad that I feel like the life is draining right out of me.  I swear it's like the blood is forcing to go through my arteries.  But doctors say it's nothing.  Constant flutters for 20 months can't be nothing!  It has to be something.  And the PT I started for upper body pain... well that didn't last long.  I found out after my 2nd visit that my insurance gave the therapist the wrong info.  And instead of it costing me $10 per visit, it's $30 per visit.  I can't afford that 3 times a week.  I was so mad that I had to pay $60 for the two visits I already had.  That was a complete waste of money.  It's a very discouraging world right now.  I need a major change in my life.  It's falling apart.

June 16, Wednesday Night:  Okay, I had a gain but at least I'm slowing down on how much I gained.  So I'll take this quarter pound gain and run with the hope that I'm headed in the right direction.  I swear I have not changed the way I eat.  I've been eating the same way in nearly 2 years.  However, I have been really suffering from depression and extreme anxiety.  I'm off the final med that I was taking for anxiety so maybe I just need a bit more time before my body wants to start shedding weight again.  I am willing to wait.  I will lose it all.  I know I will.  I'm in no big hurry.  And just think of how exciting it will be when I beat this backslide period and lose a whole bunch again!  I'll forget all about this slow spot.  It's all good.

June 9, Wednesday Night:  Hmmmmm.... I'm starting to lose anything but weight. I'm losing hope, for sure.  And what is bringing me down is that I know there is something wrong with me and I can't get a doctor to believe me.  My chest flutters constantly.  It even flutters during the few hours of sleep that I get.  It wakes me up.  My head is always pounding. It's pounding right now.  I get dizzy when I walk.  I just took the dog up the street and I wished I had a walker.  I'm flat out depressed.  The doctor wants to medicate me for depression.  How about fixing me instead?  Find out what's wrong with me and maybe I won't be depressed!  I start physical therapy for my upper body on Friday.  Doctor says it's fibromyalsia pain. I say it's because I've been sitting at a sewing machine and computer 20 hours a day for over 10 years.  So hopefully PT will help.  Won't help my chest flutters though.  I give up!

June 2, Wednesday Night:  I'm heading in the wrong direction. Plain and simple.  And not only with my weight, but with my general health.  For those of you who are following my blog, you know I've been complaining about almost constant chest flutters.  I even changed doctors recently because I felt the doctor I had was not concerned about the fish flopping around in my chest.  Well, my new doctor pretty much told me if the flutters were going to kill me, I'd be dead by now.  I swear he does not believe me.  He didn't even put the stethoscope to my chest even though I told him my chest was thumping right then and there.  I asked for a referral for a specialist and he said no. He asked if I get dizzy, have a hard time to swallow, shortness of breath.  Yes, yes and yes.  Just the same, I walked out of his office with no answers and no hope.  I think I need to find another doctor.  Everyone I talk to says I should be very concerned about these flutters.  But doctors seem to just assume it's nothing.

May 26, Wednesday Night:  Well, let's just say it was another lousy week.  Not so much because I had a gain at TOPS, but because I just had a lousy week.  My entire upper body hurts and my chest flutters will not quit.  I see my doctor Friday but I'm not overly hopeful that he'll do much.  And my fourth lasik eye surgery only made my vision worse.  I just wish I could feel good for one week.  I wish I could get one night of decent sleep.  Just depressed right now.  I hope things turn around.

May 19, Wednesday Night:  I had a one pound loss tonight at TOPS and I'll gladly take it.  That ends my gaining streak where I gained 3 weeks in a row. But enough about my weight.  I have something exciting to say... I'm a foster mom to puppies!  Yes, I am fostering 2 pups for one of the animal shelters.  They had a litter of 9 and they are still too young to adopt out so I took home two to socialize them.  They are darling lab mix puppies, just 7 weeks old.  I'm falling in love with them but I only have them for 6 days then they go back.  I'm going to miss them so much!  I'll post pics a bit later.

May 12, Wednesday Night:  I can't believe it's May 12.  I was sure it was Wednesday the 5th!  That's the date I put on the TOPS newsletter.  Man, I must need a vacation!  Well, I guess it does not matter what Wed it is, I gained.  I need to turn this around!  I am quite frustrated.  It's not so much what I'm eating.  It's that I just don't feel well enough to move around.  I have horrible chest flutters that practically knock me out.  Sometimes when I drive I have to pull over just to catch my breath. So walking it out of the question.  I see the doctor in a couple weeks.  I changed doctors because my previous doctor could not find a fix.  I hope my new doctor can!  If any of you suffer from chest flutters (more like a fish flopping around in my chest and up to my throat), I'd love to hear from you.

May 5, Wednesday Night:  How did it become May so quickly?  HOW???  And I'm not off to a good start in May.  I had a gain, but much worse, my 4th round of Lasik eye surgery only made my vision worse.  It has only been a week, and I know my eye surgeon will tell me to hang in there and wait when I see her tomorrow, but honestly, I'm not very hopeful.  I wish so much I would have just kept the lousy vision I had before this mess.  Anyway, I don't even want to write about it.  Good night.

April 28, Wednesday Night:  Boo hoo.  I had a big old gain this week.  So there goes my losing streak.  I'm okay about it.  I was stressed out the past few days getting ready for my fourth round of Lasik eye surgery, which I had today.  I stress, not over the surgery itself, but over missing work, having to get up in the morning, missing my TOPS meeting.  I decided to just get weighed but not stay for the meeting.  I'm still groggy from the Valium and I also have a headache.  And my vision is quite blurry so I would not be able to take very good secretary notes.  So, home I am.  And bored I am.  And hungry I am.  Nervous kind of hungry.  I should go heat up some veggies to have on hand.  I insist on having a loss next week.

April 21, Wednesday Night:  Looks like I'm on a mini losing streak!  I don't know if 2 weeks in a row actually qualifies as a streak, but I'm calling it one :O)  I have been gaining lately so I'm glad to see two losses in a row.  I think now that my bronchitis is gone (for the most part), I may start to lose again.  I just can't wait to get under 250!  That will be nice.  Then I'll aim to get under 200!  That will be even more nice.  I have not been under 200 pounds since 1989.

April 14, Wednesday Night:  Finally!  I lost some weight!  I'm still not back to my lowest weight, but I'm determined to reach it and pass it with flying colors!  My lowest weight was 254 and that was way back in December.  I have just been playing with the same few pounds for almost 4 months now.  They say it's a plateau.  I don't.  I don't think you hit a plateau after losing only 45 pounds.  I think it's because I've been sick practically all of 2010.  When I'm sick, I gain.  That's all there is to it.  I seem to hang on to everything I eat.  And the medications don't help either.  But this week I've been chasing my granddaughter around.  So maybe that has helped.  I just hope it continues.  She and my son are leaving on Sunday.  I'm going to be soooooo sad.  I'll have to dive into work and not the refrigerator when they leave :O)

April 7, Wednesday Night:  Boo hoo!!!  I have got to turn this weight gaining around!  I know it's because I still have bronchitis.  But I think I might be on the mend.  I surely hope I am!  I've been sick since the beginning of January.  Everyone who has this bronchitis is stuck with it for weeks and months.  But my chest x-rays were good so I'm happy about that.  I just need to get better and get outside and get some exercise!  I'm hopeful!!!

March 31, Wednesday Night:  Well, it's apparent that I'm still sick, because I gained.  I just can't lose weight when I'm sick.  I just don't know why I can't beat this bronchitis.  I finally had chest x-rays but I don't know the results. All I know is that something has got to change!!!  I need to get well so I can work.  I can barely sew right now.  If I make one garment I need to lay down for an hour.  And my son is coming home with my granddaughter on the 10th and I want to be well!  I'll be done my most recent round on antibiotics tomorrow and they didn't do me any good.  I'm quite down in the dumps right now.  And I miss my dog.

March 24, Wednesday Night:  I did it again.  I lost some more weight.  That's two weeks in a row and I'm happy about it.  I'm feeling better about seeing the numbers start to go back down, but I'm not happy to be sick again.  My bronchitis that I had for 7 weeks decided to come back.  I really think it might be pneumonia.  I see the doctor Friday afternoon.  I sure hope some good antibiotics will help.  I've been sick since the beginning of January with just maybe two weeks of feeling good somewhere during that time.  I'm sick of being sick!  But I'm glad to see that I lost because usually I gain when I'm sick.  I tend to retain all the fluids I drink.  I just hope I can lose weight again next week.  I have got to get under 250!!!  I've been waiting FOREVER!!!

March 17, Wednesday Night:  Well that's more like it chickie!  I did awesome this week.  And the only thing I can think of that I did differently is just not think about trying to lose weight.  I was totally stressed because we hosted the TOPS workshop on Saturday and I wanted so much to have a great big loss.  I came in with a 1.5 pound loss since the last workshop... that's all!  But hey, it got me into the top 15!!!  I got 13th place with that tiny loss.  And I ran to the front of the stage with all the joy and my head held high!  It was a loss and that's all I cared about. It also meant that in the 4 months since the last workshop, I maintained my weight.  That in itself is a lot to be proud of. So I'm very happy.  And I think I'll get unstuck now and start to lose again.  And I got a wonderful stuffed yellow chick that I can give to my granddaughter! I love winning the stuffed toys for her.  So I have to keep getting in that top 15 at TOPS!

March 10, Wednesday Night:  I don't understand what is going on.  I'm on a gaining streak!  I have got to chance whatever it is that I'm doing.  I even walked every night since last Wed and still had a gain.  I will have to switch to counting calories for a bit, I guess.  I'm just so sad :O(

March 3, Wednesday Night:  There is good news and bad news about tonight's weigh in.  The bad news is that I gained 3.75 pounds.  The good news is that I gained 3.75 pounds!  That gain was all it took to snap me into the reality that I'm slacking and need to get back on track.  So after the meeting, while others ran to KFC, I ran to the grocery store and stocked up on everything I need to make my veggie wraps.  The last time I got on a wrap kick I ate wraps for 8 weeks and lost 8 pounds!  So I hope it works for me again.  The other good news, at least I hope it's good news, is that we had elections tonight and I will be the new secretary starting in April.  It will be a bit more work but I'm sure I can handle it for a year then I can pass the torch on to someone else. But for the moment, I look forward to a very good week eating my wraps and maybe getting outside a bit if it's warm enough.

February 24, Wednesday Night:  I had what TOPS calls a "turtle" tonight at the weigh in. That means I didn't gain, I didn't lose. I stayed the same. And I was happy with that.  As long as I didn't gain, I'm happy!  But I really would love to start walking.  Especially now that I have only one dog, it's much easier to walk him.  And he would just love to go for walks.  I used to walk all three dogs at the same time and that was quite the task.  But then Cupcake got old and could not walk well. Then Puff would get very tired and I would have to carry him.  So I stopped walking even Scruffy because the others looked so sad if I left without them.  Anyway, time to start walking Scruffy again, but my chest won't allow it right now. I still have horrible flutters that I've had for well over a year now.  I see the doctor about it on March 18. And I still feel like I have bronchitis.  So I need to get healthy so I can get back to doing some walking and get back to losing weight!

February 17, Wednesday Night:  I pulled off a tiny loss.  I expected more.  I'm quite frustrated.  I look forward to warmer weather and longer days so maybe I can start moving around a bit.  I just feel so sluggish and I still have bronchitis.  Still have only a bit of my voice.  I really should go to the doctor again but I'm sick of going there.  My next appointment is in one month and I'm going to try to hold out until then.  Well, I'm not in a bright and cheery mood so I'll just sign off!  On a good note, I am at least happy that I had a loss.  I'll take a loss, no matter how tiny it is.  I've come a long way with tiny little losses :O)

February 10, Wednesday Night:  This has been pretty much a lousy year for me so far.  I've been sick with bronchitis since the first week of January and now I'm even losing my voice.  My dog was old and sick and I had to have him put down. Yes, I got to go to Nashville and see my son and his little girl but we had an ice storm and I was not feeling up to doing much so it was not the trip we hoped for (but still totally worth seeing my granddaughter!!!). My mother has been sick too so two trips to the doctor for us both so far this year. And now I'm having a hard time with my weight.  I swear, I hardly ate for the past few days.  My dog was not doing well and I had no appetite at all.  And I have barely eaten anything since I had him put down.  So I go to TOPS tonight to try and get away from sadness for a bit and I end up gaining 1.75 pounds... just what on earth is that all about?  Can't I catch a tiny break?  I don't know... I'm just very depressed right now and I'm so sick and tired of being sick and tired.  And I'm very sick of this weight loss taking so damn long.  I'd love to rev things up a bit but I'm so freaking sick with bronchitis... complain, complain, complain!  That's all I feel like doing for now so I'll just stop.  Maybe tomorrow things will start to look a wee bit better.  I sure hope March is a better month.  So far Jan and Feb have pretty much sucked.  The End.

February 9, Tuesday Night:  This is a very sad time for me.  I had my beautiful dog Puff put down yesterday.  His time has been coming.  I got him from an animal shelter who gave him to me for free because he was a hospice case and he just needed a good home for his last days.  I took him because I figured I would not have time to get attached to him.  But the very old dog that was supposed to die soon almost seemed to turn into a new puppy.  And he certainly looked like one after I shaved him to help his skin issues.  He had lots of problems including thyroid disease, bad heart, total deafness, cataracts, two tumors, lots of missing teeth, lung disease and very bad skin.  He was estimated to be about 12 to 15 years old.  I got to love and care for that precious dog for just over 3 years!  And the dog that I was not supposed to get attached to was by my side constantly.  He followed me so much that there were times I hated to get up because I hated to make him get up.  The past few months have been going down hill for Puff and I knew he would die soon.  After all, vets have been telling me he would die any time for 3 years now.  I expected and hoped he would die home in his sleep but he kept hanging on and I finally had to have him put down because I could tell he was suffering.  I know I'll feel better in time because I did not think I'd ever feel better after losing Cupcake but right now I just feel like I lost the love of my life.  I will miss him forever.  You can see him at the bottom of this page... My Doggies

February 4, Thursday Afternoon:  Gee... I have not posted for 2 weeks! That's because on Wednesday the 27th I weighed in at TOPS but was feeling too sick to stay for the meeting.  And I had to fly to Nashville the next day.  So I came home and just rested and did a bit of packing.  Then on Thursday the 28th I flew to Nashville to see my son Derrick.  Then on Friday, during a freak ice storm, we drove from Nashville to Mississippi to pick up my son's little girl, my sweet granddaughter Skylar!  It was quite the trip. Took us 15 hours for a 420 mile round trip. Then I stayed in Nashville with my son and granddaughter until Monday afternoon and got back to Maine at midnight Monday night.  And I'm still sick with bronchitis.  At least this week I lost some weight.  January was a bad month for weight.  It was the first time since I joined TOPS that I had a month with a net gain.  It was only a net gain of 2.50 pounds so that's not bad at all considering I was even on prednisone for part of the month.  And at last night's weigh in I lost 2 pounds.  So I hope to lose the other half pound plus more at the next weigh in.  It's very hard for me to lose weight while I'm sick.  I seem to retain all my fluids and I drink a lot of water, even when sick.  I also feel like eating a lot of crackers when I'm sick and that prednisone made me feel like eating anything in site.  So it was a rough month.  But I'm so happy I was still able to go to Nashville and see my son and granddaughter!  Skylar is just the sweetest thing and she keeps me and Derrick laughing all the time.  And Derrick is the best daddy ever.  I'm so proud of him!  You can see some pics of Derrick and Skylar below on my November 28th entry.  That's when he took her to Maine.

January 20, Wednesday Evening:  We ended up not having a meeting tonight.  At least, not that I know of.  We had snow but TOPS was not officially canceled. But when I went there there were no weight recorders and the other couple members who were there said many had called and said they were not coming. So we just took it upon ourselves to call it quits.  I was not going to stay for the meeting anyway because I'm too sick with bronchitis.  It may have turned into pneumonia, not sure. I'm going back to the doctor supposedly on Friday if they can squeeze me in.  One thing for sure, I'm sure happy I didn't have to step on the scale.  I am on prednisone for the first time in my life and I hear that's a big weight gaining med. I've tried very hard not to give in to the increased cravings the prednisone caused and also just being sick makes me feel like eating junk. Thank goodness I have my soup and I'm trying to stick to that.  What a lousy two weeks this has been with this horrid illness!  And I'm supposed to fly to Nashville in one week to visit my son and granddaughter.  I sure hope to be better by then.

January 13, Wednesday Evening:  I had another gain this week but I really expected it to be a lot more.  I've been sick with a bad cold for 1 week now.  It started just after my TOPS meeting last week and now it's all in my chest and I have a world class headache.  My mother has it too. We see the doctor on Friday.  So, I think all the fluids I've been drinking and the crackers I've been munching on are sticking right to me.  I hope I feel better soon.  I leave for a vacation to Nashville to see my son and my granddaughter on the 28th!  I've got to feel better by then!

January 6, Wednesday Evening:  I started my new off with a gain.  But with losses there will always be some gains along the way.  I look forward to taking it back off plus much more!  On a good note, I was the biggest loser at TOPS for the month of December.  I lost 4.75 pounds for the month.  Normally you need to lose more than that to get the top spot but December is a month of gains for many.  I didn't really do anything different for the holidays when it comes to eating.  I tried to stick to the same old same old.  I did have chex mix last week which is why I blame myself for not losing last week.  And this week I did have chocolate and that is FOR SURE the reason I had a gain this week. Now it's all behind me and I have an entire new year to lose lots of weight!!!  I hope this is the year that I drop down below 200 pounds!!!

Happy New Year 2010!!!--

See December 2009 Entries Here
See November 2009 Entries Here
See October 2009 Entries Here
See September 2009 Entries Here
See August 2009 Entries Here
See July 2009 Entries Here
See June 2009 Entries Here
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See April 2009 Entries Here
See March 2009 Entries Here
See February 2009 Entries Here
See January 2009 Entries Here
See December 2008 Entries Here
See November 2008 Entries Here
See October 2008 Entries Here
See September 2008 where it all starts!



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