Feb 26, Thursday Afternoon:  I just got done watching Biggest Loser on tape while eating my soup.  That show is just so inspiring to me.  I know I'm not losing weight quickly, but watching people as big as me and even bigger do all they do makes me realize that I can push myself harder too.  And I have to stay on that treadmill no matter how much I hate it.  And I have to increase my walking and now I'm kind of looking forward to that 2 miles a day that I'm creeping up to!  But I must mention this... I've been blogging about my weight since August 31.  That was my birthday, and this blog was my gift to myself.  And since that first blog more than 5 months have passed.  And I can honestly say that my inner struggles with food are gone.  I wake up each day and food is the last thing on my mind.  I go to bed each night and food is the last thing on my mind.  I watch TV and food is the last thing on my mind.  I just do not obsess about food any more.  I'm free from the obsession!!!  And if I had to make a choice right now between living a skinny life but being obsessed with food or living my fat life and not giving a hoot about food I'd take the fat life!  Honestly, it feels sooooooo good to just not care about food any more.  Food was my obsession, my addiction, my enemy, my pain, my suffering, my killer... since I was 12 years old.  Now I see food only as a way to fuel my body.  And I think now that I have conquered that part, the rest will be easy.  It really will be easy.  It will be easy because I say it will be easy.  The weight will just fall off.  It will.

Feb 25, Wednesday Afternoon:  Anyone want to buy a treadmill?  Anyone?  Just kidding.  I'll keep it.  And I'll keep walking my way to Spring.  But I will be one happy girl when Spring finally gets here and my chart is full :o)  Just want to also mention that I'm getting a ton of email and I'm sorry that I can't respond to each of you.  I try to reply but I just don't have enough time in the day.  But I appreciate every email I get!  Thank you for watching me on my weight loss journey!

Feb 24, Tuesday Afternoon:  I did it!  I did it!  I walked 1.5 miles yesterday!  I got 1 mile done during the day then I did the last 1/2 mile during commercials while watching The Bachelor.  I can walk a tenth of a mile during a commercial break so it only took 5 commercials and I was done!  Not so bad after all.

Feb 23, Monday Afternoon:  I can't believe that today I have to walk 1.5 miles :o(  Just don't want to do it!!!  But I will.  I have not been talking about my eating much lately.  I'm still eating soup!  I have got to look back on my blog and see how long I've been eating soup now.  It has to be a few months.  I still love it.  I never get sick of it.  And if I happen to eat something else, man, I can feel it!  I practically get sick.  I guess my body is used to the good healthy soup and wants nothing else!  Also, many of you are asking about my 3rd round of lasik eye surgery.  Well, still wearing glasses!  I can't understand WHY that right eye of mine refuses to be corrected.  And the left eye seems to be losing the far vision now.  I will not give up.  I'm determined to make them get it right!  To think my perfect vision lasted 2 years then it all fell apart.  I'm a freak!!!  Maybe I need to pour soup into my eyes.  Maybe my soup is a cure all and I don't even know it!  I'll try anything at this point to get my vision back!

Feb 22, Sunday Morning:  Well I did it!  I completed five days of 1.25 miles a day!  And I started dancing too (see Feb 20 post).  So looks like more movement equals more weight loss!  You know what I wish?  I wish I could get sponsors to pay me to lose weight.  I would not work.  I'd just dance and walk and eat my soup live on a video cam.  Now there's a reality show for ya!  Everyone could just watch me melt away!  And the dance show I would do would be wonderful comic relief for everyone who watched!  Now I'm not hating my next week of walking quite so much.  I'm still hating it, but I think I can survive it.  And I'm half way through my walk to Spring!!!  Come on... walk to spring with me!  Oh, I have a few new pics of my son on his site.  I just have to show him off!  Just click on his photo gallery... derrickmichaud.com

Feb 20, Friday Morning:  Last night, around 6:30pm, I came here to my computer to get some work done.  I had 1.5 hours of work before Survivor came on.  Terrific.  I could get it all done.  Right?  WRONG!  Just as I started working I put one of my playlists on at GrooveShark and every song got me up and dancing.  And when I say dancing, I really mean moving around the room like an idiot, flopping by butt up and down and side to side and flinging my arms around like a complete fool.  I danced for about an hour straight with a couple short breaks in between when one of the few slow songs I chose on my playlist came on.  I'm telling you... THAT was a workout!!!  And a workout I truly enjoyed.  Every single part of my body felt it and I was sweating up a storm.  When I went downstairs to watch TV with my mother I asked if she could feel the house shaking.  Hell, I'm surprised I didn't go through the floor!  And after all that, I finished my treadmill walk so I could fill in my chart.  So next time my husband is not home (I would NEVER let him catch me dancing, not like THAT!!!) I'm doing it again!

Feb 19, Thursday Afternoon:  I am groovin' to tunes!  OMG, my uncle turned me on to this site... GrooveShark.  Just plug in any song title and it plays for free!  I've got songs on my list that I have not heard for years!  I'm loving it!  I just wish my computer was on my main floor of my home so I could listen to music while walking on the stinking treadmill.  Anyway, if you like music, give grooveshark a try!

Feb 18, Wednesday Afternoon:  Well I have two days of 1.25 miles under my belt and I'm working on day number three.  As much as I hate the walking, I must say filling in the chart feels great!  I just filled in yesterday's box and can't wait to fill in the whole week!!!  So walking sucks but the chart is working out great for me.  It's keeping me walking!  And I just watched last night's episode of The Biggest Loser on tape (I watch American Idol and tape Loser) and it gave me such a pick-me-up!  They showed how you do not have to go to a gym to get a good workout.  Something I already knew, but it was good to see it.  Just use stuff you have around the house.  Walk, lift things, crawl on the floor.  Save money by skipping the gym and work out at home!  There is no excuse not to!

Feb 17, Tuesday Afternoon:  I can't believe February is already half over!  March is on the way :o)  Today I started out by walking a whole 1/2 mile right away.  I have to get ready for those 2 mile days that are on the way so I need to build up my stamina!  A half mile at a time is about as much as I can do right now.  It nearly kills me.  And yes, I still hate it.  But I still have plans for a new chart when this chart is filled.  I do find that walking helps with my depression.  So for that reason alone, I will try to stick with it.  I just wish I had more time in a day.  It seems like there is always so much to do and never enough time.  Oh well, c'est la vie!  Hey, here is something you don't know about me!  French was my first language.  Yep, it was.  All my grandparents were from Quebec.  And when I was born my parents spoke mostly french in the home.  I remember learning english when I was 4 years old and it was decided that I was going to public school instead of going to the French Catholic school (I was spared!).  Once I learned english I lost my fluency with French.  I completely understand it and can read it very well and write it fairly well, but just can't really speak it unless I'm drunk... and thankfully those drunk days are over!  So there, now you know something new about me!

Feb 16, Monday Morning:  I woke up thinking about how I have to walk 1.25 miles today and thought... how can I get through this without hating it?  Answer is, I can't.  But I will do it.  I'm going to walk .25 miles five times throughout the day (already did my first .25).  And instead of watching TV I'm going to day dream.  It gives me a chance to think about business... my favorite day dreaming subject!
 

Feb 15, Sunday Afternoon:  I'm always amazed at how fast Sundays come around!  I still have a trickle of weight coming off.  I really wish that treadmill would help the weight come off faster!  Maybe it will when I hit the dreaded 2 mile a day weeks that I have committed to.  I think I need to be committed but not to walking...  but to an institution!  I hate every bit of this stupid walking chart but I will do it because I said I would.  Why on earth do I hate it so much?  Oh!  Because I just hate it!  I hate the sweating, the aches, the time I waste, the socks slipping off my feet.  And watching TV while walking is boring!  It really is.  TV is only good while laying on the couch at night or while sewing or while at the computer.  But TV and treadmills don't mix!  Okay, enough complaining.  To anyone who reads this... if I can force myself to walk then you can too because no one hates it as much as I do!!!  NO ONE!  But I'm determined to get my miles up and see if that will help me lose weight faster than this ridiculously slow pace I'm stuck on!

Feb 13, Friday Morning:  You know something that has always cracked me up?  It's this... tell someone that you did not eat for one day and they are quick to jump on you as to how unhealthy that is and how it's not good to skip meals and how you have to eat to lose weight.  I get this all the time from family, from friends, from strangers by email (I mentioned that I didn't eat in my Feb 11 post below).  But tell someone that you pigged out for one day and everyone jumps to comfort you and tell you it's okay, don't beat yourself up, you deserve a day like that once in awhile, it's only one day, tomorrow is a new day.  No wonder those of us who have trouble controlling food are so messed up!  We get such mixed messages.  We should eat in a healthy way but if we are going to mess up, it's better to mess up by over eating than to under eat?  I can honestly say that in my case I am much better off fasting for a day than pigging out for a day.  A fast will not kill me!  I promise I won't faint or starve to death or become anorexic in one day.  And it feels really good to go to bed and know that food was not a priority in any way.  It feels really, really good.

Feb 11, Wednesday Morning:  My truth is confirmed... I HATE EXERCISE!  I don't think I'll ever come close to enjoying it.  But I do notice that walking does seems to help me have more energy and it might help with my depression a bit.  And yesterday I completely forgot to eat.  Every time I went to the kitchen to make my soup I got on the treadmill instead then just forgot to eat!  But even if it took away my appetite forever, I don't think I'd ever look forward to jumping on that treadmill.  I can't imagine how much I'm going to hate those last 2 weeks when I have to walk 2 miles a day... WHAT WAS I THINKING!  But I will do it!  I most certainly will.  And I already have a plan for the next chart after this one is complete.  The charts will keep me walking.  I will keep on hating it but at least I'll be walking!

Feb 9, Monday Afternoon:  Today I start my 1 mile a day mission.  I did .2 so far.  Just have to do that four more times!  I don't know what is wrong with me today.  I'm in such a rut.  Not food wise (will be making a fresh pot of soup today) but mentally I'm just drained.  I think I have too much on my to-do list.  I don't know... just can't get with it!  Feels like depression is setting in.  I hate that feeling.  Sorry, no pep talk from me today! :o(

Feb 8, Sunday Afternoon:  How quick these Sundays come by!  Gee wiz... losing weight is like having teeth pulled!  But I keep losing and better yet... I'm not gaining!  So that's a good thing.  I think now that the weather will be getting nicer (who am I fooling, it's only Feb) I will want to be doing more stuff.  At least today is warm, almost 50 degrees!  So I went out and did some shoveling at my rental property so the oil man can get to the pipes.  Today I do not have to walk on the treadmill because I did my 5 walks for last week :o)  Next week I bump up to a mile a day.  Someone kill me now!!!  No, it will be okay.  I think.  I have a new plan for spring and I think it will help me lose weight.  I have a cellar and a garage FULL of junk.  And I do mean FULL!  My father never threw anything away.  That man would put a nail in a wall to hang a broken rubber band.  Really, that's how bad he was.  And not only did he save junk, but he brought junk home from the dump!  We have cleared some stuff out over the years but man, there is so much stuff.  I loved my dad with all my heart but why did he leave me with all this mess!!!  Okay, here's my plan.  Open the garage door this spring and tell other junk collectors to come on over and clear it out for me.  I'll give it all away... just take it so I don't have to pay someone to clean for me (stuff is too heavy to do it myself).  Then when the garage is clear I'm going to set up a little shop.  My husband wants to park his truck in there but that garage has not had a car in it for hmmmmm almost 50 years, so it's not about to have one in it now.  It's going to be my little store.  And I will have garage sales every weekend!  And slowly I can bring stuff up from the cellar and put it in the garage to sell.  And I can maybe sell some of my tunics.  And I can certainly sell my fabric scraps to women who sew (once they see my scraps I have a feeling they will come every weekend!)  I used to sell my scraps by the pound on ebay but now it costs too much to ship them so I have been throwing them out.  And I hate to see such nice pieces of fabric go to waste.  They make such nice doll clothes, stuffed animals, quilts, whatever.  So, there is my plan.  I will walk on the treadmill until spring and then will start my clean-up project.  And my father will turn over in his grave (well, he would if he was not cremated).  Sorry dad, but the junk has to go!

Feb 6, Friday Afternoon:  Hi everyone!  Well, I had my 3rd round of Lasik eye surgery on Wed.  Thursday I was happy with the results but today I find that I'm going blurry again.  I will give it time to see how it goes.  At least this time it did not make my vision worse.  The first time I had it done it was perfect but only lasted just over 2 years.  Had it done again and vision was worse.  Let's hope this third time is a charm!  I still recommend it for anyone thinking about it.  I'm a rare case to have it go bad on me like it did.  So I don't want to discourage anyone.  Before Lasik I was a prisoner to my glasses and always worried what would happen if I ever lost them while on vacation or something.  At least now I can see, blurry, but I can see.  I'm confident that my surgeon will not give up on me and will work on me until we get it right!  I'm sooooo behind on my weekly schedule because I lost all of Wed and most of Thurs.  But I'm doing my walking chart and will make up Wed's walk on Sat.  I can't believe I'll be up to 1 mile a day next week!  Kind of not looking forward to that but I'll do it!  Now, off to work I go!

Feb 3, Tuesday Afternoon:  I did it!  A whole 3/4 mile on Monday and I'm almost done my walking for today.  It's not too much more than the 1/2 mile so I think I'll get through this week just fine.  It's those 2 mile a day weeks I'm going to hate!  I really like the idea of having a chart.  After I complete this chart I'll think of something else fun to do to force me to walk :o)  I'm even going to write an eHow article on this walking idea.  I haven't written an article yet today so I think I'll go do that now!

Feb 2, Monday Afternoon:  Today I have to up my walking to 3/4 mile a day.  I think I can handle it.  I'm just not looking forward to those last 2 weeks... but then it will be spring!  Oh, just want to let you know I won't be answering emails on Wed because I'm having my 3rd lasik eye surgery.  The first surgery only lasted 2 years then the 2nd one made my vision worse.  I'm very worried about going in again but my surgeon is telling me it will be fine.  At least they are not charging me extra.  It cost me $4,000 in the first place so they better not charge me more!  My son had it done too right after me (my gift to him before I got poor) and his eyes are still perfect.  I guess I'm just the unlucky one!  Most people never have problems.  I sure did!  Time for some soup :o)

Feb 1, Sunday Afternoon:  Hi everyone!  I woke up in a good mood and was anxious to step on the scale and wish my week of walking would have helped a bit more but what the heck!  I've committed to this "walk my way to spring" and I'm going to do it!  Do you know how much I'm going to hate those last two weeks when I must walk 2 miles a day?  I'm really, really, really going to hate it!  Why do I set myself up for all this misery! :o)  Who knows, maybe it won't be that bad.  I just wish the walking would move the scale a bit more.  We'll see how we do when I'm up to 2 miles.  The Biggest Loser I'm not!  Oh, I just started a web site for my son.  It's nothing fancy and it's just in the beginning stages but please take a look!  www.derrickmichaud.com