July 29, Wednesday Late Night:  Another Wednesday, another weigh-in... and another tiny loss.  I swear I must hold some sort of record for consistently losing tiny bits of weight! But those tiny bits do add up and now I'm 25 pounds lighter than I was last year.  I have one month to go for my year anniversary for this blog.  Maybe I can sneak a few more pounds in before my anniversary. I'd love to hit 30 pounds but hey, I'll take any loss that I can get!  I just hope those of you who have been reading this blog have also found success.  If not, start NOW! Another year will go by soon and you can either weigh more, the same, or less in another year.  It's all up to you! I know I'll be weighing less.  MUCH LESS!

July 26, Sunday Late Night:  I had quite a scare today!  I stopped at a dollar store after doing my groceries and I left my Jeep running because is was really hot and I had my mother and the dogs in the car.  I was just going in for a minute but ended up chatting for maybe 10 minutes.  Suddenly a man comes running it yelling that my Jeep was ON FIRE! I was never so scared in my life.  I knew the Jeep was not running up to par and I've been meaning to take it to the mechanic for several weeks but kept avoiding it because I think it's the transmission.  So now all I could think it that maybe it was some electrical problem and that I had caused a fire.  I ran out and was thankful to see that someone had helped my mother out of the car.  The cloud of smoke ended up being steam from the car over heating.  And what everyone thought was an explosion was just the hose bursting.  So everyone was okay.  But my mother was so shook up because she could not get the seat belt undone and she thought the Jeep was going to burst into flames.  Poor her!  Then no matter who I called I could not catch anyone at home to come get us and we were all dying in the heat on the ONLY hot and sunny day we've had all summer!  Finally a stranger, a very nice lady, came by and she offered to take us all home, dogs, groceries and all.  Phew!  I was so glad to get us all home and back in the AC!  And now my Jeep is at the mechanic where it belongs.  I know it's not the transmission that caused it to over heat but I'm still not taking any more chances!  And that man that ran into the store and scared me so much just took off after.  He didn't even wait to see if everything was okay.  If I could find him now I think I'd smack him for scaring me so much!  Who on earth screams fire then runs off?  Strange.  At least it was not really a fire.  Still scary just the same.

July 22, Wednesday Late Night:  Yippee!!!  I finally had a good weight loss this week.  More than a pound.  More than two pounds.  Almost three pounds!  2.75 to be exact!  I'm quite happy about that.  As you can see by my chart I'm am a very slow loser.  But I knew being back at TOPS would guarantee me a few good weeks so I can speed this journey up a little.  Now I only have to lose 25 pounds three more times!  Sounds quite possible when I think of it that way.  But I'm still aiming for 10 pound goals and will post new photos every 10 pounds.  Oh, tonight was the annual pool party at one of our members homes.  I had such a good time!  But I think I may have talked too much and when I got home I regretted not being a bit more quite.  I swear when I'm in a party situation, even if I don't have a drop of alcohol, I act like I'm drunk.  I have very loose lips and I always worry that I come across as being a... a... I don't even know what to call it.  Just a big loud mouth, I guess.  I wish I could not have such social anxieties.  I do try to explain to the group my odd hang ups but good lord, if they new it all, how I obsess about so many things, they'd think I'm absolute nuts.  And pretty much, I AM!  But at least I'll be a thinner nut.  For sure, I WILL!  Also, I'm going to take a week or maybe even two weeks off from eBay so I can take some time to update all my sites and to stock new fabric on my clothing site and to finish all the lovely orders I've been getting.  I'll be announcing this in my Thursday email to you all but that does not mean you can't get tunics during my time off.  I'm not going on vacation (I HATE VACATIONS!) and will have some awesome fabrics for you to shop for on my site.  Now I'm off to bed.  New TV Guide is here so I have some brainless yet guilty pleasure reading to do :o)

July 20, Monday Late Night:  I've been unusually hungry the past few days.  And it happens that my doctor put me on yet another med Friday to try and help me sleep.  It might be psychological that when I take a new med I get hungry.  Or it may be the stupid pills!  And they don't work AT ALL.  They don't even make me the slightest bit groggy.  I kept saying NO but she talked me into it.  And of course, the pills do nothing.  I even took two last night just to see if that would help, but no.  No shut eye for me until this morning. And I got what looks like a letter from my doctor's office.  I didn't open it yet.  I'm thinking it could be a letter saying she does not want to treat me any more.  I think she's quite sick of me.  She can't "fix" me and now I'm done dishing out tons of money for all the junk she wants to put me on.  I don't know.  I think I'll just have to stop going for check ups and just go if I'm sick with the flu or something.  These check ups are a big waste of money.  And I can't believe there is no pill out there that can knock me out!

July 17, Friday Evening:  I had my checkup at my doctor's today.  What a waste of money... I think.  My complaints are always the same... can't sleep, chest flutters, depressed, exhausted, headaches, joint pain, and on and on and on.  And of course all she can do is try to medicate me.  I swore I would not try anything else but then I agreed to try something for sleep.  If it works I'll be thrilled but I've tried so many things and nothing works.  And I asked if I could go off my blood pressure meds but she wants me to double it.  So I'll try doubling it.  I just hope when I take off 100 pounds that I'll start to feel better.  I did not let them weigh me either.  I told them I get weighed at TOPS and I'm losing weight.  I didn't want to weigh on a different scale because if it's was high I'd be bummed out.  So I skipped past the scale!

July 15, Wednesday Night:  Man, I really expected to lose at least 2 pounds tonight but nope!  I only lost a quarter pound.  But at least it's a loss.  Slowly but surely I'll get there.  Not much else to say so I think I'll just go to bed and lay awake all night as usual!

July 13, Monday Late Night:  I think we've had three sunny days in a row!  It's a new record for this summer! All we have been getting is rain, rain and more rain.  I don't mind.  I love the rain!  I can't believe today is already Monday and Wednesday is just around the corner and I will be getting weighed.  I've been doing really good with eating.  And I'm still eating soup.  I made a fresh pot last night and could not wait for eat it today.  I think it's official... I can't get sick of soup.  I've been eating it for months now.  I think since last fall.  It really stops my cravings.  Either that or it's just that my cravings are changing with age.  No matter what the reason is, it sure feels good to not be craving all the time.  If any of you are interested in joining TOPS look up to see if there is a chapter near you!

July 10, Friday Late Night:  We finally had sunshine here in Maine today!  It's been raining for weeks.  I almost went outside for a walk but then all my anxieties kicked in and I changed my mind.  And my knee still hurts from when I hurt myself while walking a couple months ago.  I don't know if that knee will ever get completely better.  If it's nice tomorrow I will try to get out and at least weed the garden.  My tomato plants have not grown an inch, but the weeds sure did!  We sure do need sunshine for our gardens.  Nothing is growing anywhere.  It's a very odd summer.  It feels more like early spring.  Well, I'm boring myself to tears so I think I'll call it a night.  Good night!

July 8, Wednesday Night:  I am actually in shock that I lost weight tonight at TOPS!  My scale at home was showing that it was going to be a very close call.  At home I have the luxury of tenths of a pound.  But at TOPS they round off by quarters.  But I lost!!!  Not much but I'll take any loss that I get.  I really would love to be losing faster but I must hold some kind of record for being the slowest yet steadiest loser!  I started this blog for my birthday last year on Aug 31st.  And although I'm losing slowly, I'm so happy that for my birthday this year I will weigh less than last year instead or more!  I could have easily gained 20 pounds instead of losing it.  So slow is good.  I'm quite happy.  But I'm going to try very hard to reach 30 pounds lost for my birthday.  That's the best gift I could ever have :o)

July 6, Monday Late Night:  Today was another short day for me.  I slept late then it seems like by the time I get going it's time to go back to bed.  I would not mind sleeping until 2:00pm if I could at least work all night but I'm exhausted all the time so I go to bed usually around midnight but then I lay there awake all night.  Too tired to get up and do stuff yet too wide awake to sleep.  And my chest has been fluttering for weeks now.  It's like I have a live fish flopping around in there.  It takes my breath away.  I can feel it all the way up my throat.  I had this last fall and my doctor put me on blood pressure meds but that's not working.  The fluttering is bad and it's constant.  I just wish it would stop!  If any of you suffer from fish-in-the-chest syndrome please tell me what I can do to stop it!

July 5, Sunday Afternoon:  No rain today!  At least not yet.  We had rain almost the entire month of June and July started out very wet too.  It even rained off and on all day and night Friday which was fireworks night for us.  For some reason, Sanford always has the fireworks on the 3rd of July.  I think it's so it gives people a chance to see fireworks two nights.  I took my mother, sister, Scruffy and Puff to see them.  It was pouring as we got into the car but it stopped just in time for the fireworks.  They were very nice and lasted 26 minutes.  Not bad for a small town!  And we had thunder and lightning the entire time.  I LOVE thunder and lightning.  I really, really love it.  So it was like a double treat for me.  We had extra bangs and flashes of light in the sky to go along with the fireworks!  So it was a good night.  The rest of the weekend has been a lazy one.  I need to sew today and I hope to actually get to do that.  It would be nice if I could start my day before 3:00pm.  But lately I sleep until 1:00pm or 2:00pm so it makes for a very short work day.  But I can't sleep at night so I just have to go with the flow!

July 1, Wednesday Late Night:  Well tonight was my TOPS meeting.  I lost half a pound.  Honestly, I expected much more.  I hardly ate a thing because I was so sad about Cupcake (see June 25 entry) and I think I went 3 days in a row that I ate only some crackers at night.  I just could not eat.  But anyway, I am happy that I am finally feeling a bit better about Cupcake.  I cried for days and didn't think I'd ever stop.  And even though I was expecting a big loss tonight I'm totally happy with my half pound.  Maybe I'll lose more next week.  We have a TOPS workshop in September for all the chapters in our area and they award the top 15 people who lost the most weight between the June workshop and the September one.  I was always in the top 15 when I joined TOPS 5 years ago.  The closest I ever got to 1st place was 2nd place.  I want to be in 1st place just once during this weight loss journey.  But I'll take 15th place if need be!  I just like the challenge.